I do not consider myself an entirely happy person. I do not wander through my life with a grin on my face. I have set about finding out why, and this is the thrust behind this post.

I believe that happiness is pivotal to spiritual success and practices. Yet it is something that has not always been present in my life, and often I have struggled to find joy in my life and with myself. Lazaris says that the reason we are here (as in born on this earth) is to have fun. I never doubted this from the moment that I heard it.

Another channelled entity that I used to listen to a lot is Bashar, and his thing was that if it excitesyou, it’s your thing and you need to pursue it.

Fortunately the things that excite me are not criminal or illegal, but somehow I have talked myself into either not pursuing them or letting them slip out of reach. I believe that this is in part due to having being brought up a Catholic (which I have denounced years ago). Abject happiness in not high on the Catholic agenda I assure you, and I am certain that this has influenced me to a large degree.

If happiness is a high frequency – and I don’t think that too may people would argue to the contrary – I have often questioned why it is seemingly elusive. There have been times in my life when I have felt that it was forbidden.

I think that to be human is to enjoy a full spectrum of emotions and feelings (and yes I think there is a difference between the two). And yet even as I become more conscious of the things that I am grateful for in my life (of which there is an abundance) and how I react to things in life as a choice (as opposed to a reaction), happiness still seems elusive.

As I immerse myself deeper in my spiritual practices I experience more joy and contentment. My deeply analytical mind however wanders elsewhere. It has to be said that my thinking leads me from away happiness. Are the neural pathways that have been formed throughout my life so deep that moving away from them is challenging? Out of habit, do I allow my thoughts to stray away from what makes me happy?

The Ancient Egyptians spoke of the intelligence of the heart; is true intelligence when this is where your “thinking” comes from and is centred in, instead of from, your head?

Taken early 2009 as my plane left San Francisco heading home; I was truly happy then

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